A few weeks ago I was in Wal-Mart among Evanston's finest residents. I was getting some racquet balls to throw against the wall in order to build hand speed in my quest to become Wyoming's greatest ninja. Sarah had gone to the other side of the store to grab something and I was on my way to go and meet her. I was cutting through the women's clothing section to get back to where Sarah was when my kung fu grip on reality was forever shaken. I looked up to see a group of people that I decided was a family consisting of a husband, wife, a few kids and a grandma (grandma to the kids - mother to the adults) It took me a couple of seconds and a few more steps before I realized what was happening. The young mother (who you can see a picture of in an earlier post...you may have thought it was a buffalo before) was holding up a negligee for her husband and mother (or mother in law) to check out and give their stamp of approval on. It was like slow motion. I gazed across the group of them taking in the kids...all in tank tops and otherwise awkwardly fitting clothes with at least one mullet among them, the dad with a couple of prize winning jailhouse tats and the token nascar ball cap, the grandma with the perma "bitter beer" face and before I realized it I was nearly standing in the midst of them. I felt like Mia Hamm had just kicked me in the gut as I tried to hold back my dry heave. The words of a Gretchen Wilson song popped in to my head "...Victoria's Secret, that stuff's real nice, but I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal-Mart shelf half price..." I always just thought of that song as a whimsical anecdote but here I was watching the dream come true right before my plastic shopping cart. To this day I have a hard time expunging the memory from my brain. The family that picks out lingerie together stays together.
10 months ago