Wednesday, April 21, 2010

If you hear of anything, let me know

Have you ever thought about what you would do if you lost your current job. I have thought a lot about that since my employment is tied directly to the housing market which is influenced by any shift in the breeze. While I am not concerned at the present that my job will go away I just thought that I would throw out the feelers out there on a few jobs that I have always wanted to try.

Ninja - I think I am pretty stealthy and I don't even have the fancy ninja shoes. I can effectively hide from my two children for minutes on end without employing any smoke bombs. I don't mind the color black. Roundhouse kicks are awesome and while my flexibility is not what it used to be, I see that never stopped Steven Segal. I really don't want to kill people but from all of the ninja movies I have seen all you really need to do is hit someone, sometimes even with a leg sweep and they will be disoriented or unconscious for several minutes - I'm pretty sure I can handle that.

Back up rap singer - I know that I don't have the rhythm to lay down lead vocals but I can effectively repeat what the lead is doing. You know, like when they say something like "I'm a true holla gansta (gansta), you know I've never been no pranksta (pranksta). I am also proficient with the ad libbing "yeah's", "uh's" "ya'll know what this is's", "feel me's", "comin' back again's", etc. I could also play the tambourine, cowbell, or really any other thing that you hit here and there - like a gong.

Odd sports announcer - To sum this up, I want Al Trautwig's job. There are sports out there that the retired athletes just don't become broadcasters for. The recent Olympics were a great example of this. No one knows how to commentate curling, or bass fishing, or mountain biking or the Ironman Triathlon. If there is an ABC sports Saturday afternoon and no major college sport is in season, that is where I want to be. I guess I would settle for being a contestant on the Biggest Loser, but that is more part time work and I think I need to gain a few pounds before I could be considered for that.

So if you come across anyone looking for someone to fill any of the above positions I might be interested. Especially if it comes with matching 401k and dental.


Carrie said...

hmm. we'll keep an eye out for you. : )