The smelliest house of all time

Elaine: Can you die from an odor? I mean like if you were locked in a vomitorium for two weeks, could you actually die from the odor?
Jerry: An overdose of odor? Good question.
George: Do I smell?


I wish I could have found the video for that little bit of dialogue. The reason for this post? Well, I recently had the fine pleasure of inspecting the smelliest house I have ever stepped foot in. I have literally been in thousands of homes and seen the entire spectrum of living conditions and this one, at least as far as smell goes, takes the cake. 


How do you obtain such an odor? I can hear you all asking. Take 4 large dogs, let's say Akita's or German Shepherds, something along those lines, lock them in your house with you and let them urinate and defecate on every surface of your home. Do not remove the doge feces, just pile it up next to the front door (inside still). Allow all shed hair to remain on the floor to provide a nice, absorbent, mat like covering that will really hold on to all urine and feces particles. Smoke, heavily for years on end. Preferably have 3-5 heavy smokers in the house, yes, you teenagers need to pull your weight too, spark up there junior. Now live like this for, say 8 years without ever cleaning your home and you will have achieved the total destruction of your home by dog. I won't give you too much but here is one picture, apparently this was one of the dog's favorite spots to unload. What looks like dirt on the newel post is actually some kind of urine, fur, smoke residue. Pretty awesome.